Can't Have You
by taywizzle
Summary: Logan struggles with his feelings for the school's biggest jock James. What will happen when he reveals his feelings to James? Jagan.
1. Loner

The kids hated him. He knew what they thought of him. However, as he raised his sweaty, shaking palm Logan had gone through enough. He no longer wanted to be afraid of the bullies, he no longer wanted to go home from school, run to his room and cry. He wanted to stand up for himself, he wanted to make a new name for himself, he wanted just one thing before he graduated in a few months, to be known and respected.

After being called on by his favorite teacher the seniors in the room began to roll their eyes while others groaned loudly. They hated when Logan talked, but they didn't hate him because they found him annoying or because he was a jerk, they were jealous, jealous that whenever Logan raised his hand he made sure what he was going to say went about the teacher's expectations, they were jealous they couldn't be as smart as he, they were jealous that he didn't have to work for grades, that it all came naturally to him.

Logan didn't know this was how they felt, he had no idea at all. All he knew was that he was tired of being ignored, and when he was given attention it wasn't the attention he wanted. He hated his peers, and he knew that they one he hated the most was James. James was the big jock the ladies man, everyone liked him. He had all the friends, the acquaintances, the grades, and most importantly when he raised his hand people listened. They moved to the edge of their seats, ears at the ready, to absorb his ideas, his voice, and his perfect body. Logan hated to admit it, but deep down inside he knew he liked James too.

"Hey Logan!" James said as he passed by Logan's desk at the end of class.

Logan let out a swift "Hi," before burying himself in his backpack. _So much for being a new Logan, I can't believe James can do that to me._ Logan walked as fast as he could to his next class. No one said anything to him, no one ever did, no one but James.

"Hey Log." Logan's dad said, as Logan walked in the door.

"Hey dad." Logan and his dad always went through the motions of a normal family, well as normal as they could be. Logan's mom had left the family seven years ago. She had found the need to go out and find herself, and apparently the real her didn't involve Logan or his dad.

Logan ran up to his room, it was his safe haven. It was the only place he truly felt himself. As he laid out his homework he began to think, not about his math or English, not about his mom (he avoided thoughts of her), but about James. He thought of James's smile, his big toothy grin.

Logan sighed, he hated the way he felt about James, he really did, but he couldn't help it. James was the only one who spoke to Logan without a sneer on his face, the only one who listened to what Logan said in class. Logan wanted James but he knew James was something he just couldn't have.


	2. One Missed Text

In his room, James lay on his bed debating all that happened that day. He had talked to plenty of girls (as he always did, they just wouldn't stop fawning over him), he had made plans for the weekend with his buddies Kendall and Carlos, and he had spoken to Logan. "Ugh," James thought out loud, why did he have to think of Logan? James didn't know what to make of Logan when he met him for the first time this year. He had to keep himself a secret, the real him anyways, because if anyone knew how he felt about boys in general his life would come crashing down. Logan made it hard for him to stay calm.

_Why does he have to be so cute? _

James loved the way Logan walked down the hallways, his hips swaying from side to side. James found himself licking his lips as the thought crossed his mind. He also loved how nervous Logan was around him, it was nice to see him be anything other than cocky. His conversations with Logan made him feel different, like he could be himself for once, he didn't need his whole jock facade. It made him act so fake, especially with around girls, even though they had all been attracted to him he never really found himself enamored by them. However, he had an image to uphold and that image involved liking girls. James wanted nothing more than to be himself but knew better.

Logan began his day as usual, nothing changed, but then during Algebra James had come right up to him and asked if he could have his number.

Before Logan caught himself he muttered, "Me? You want my number?"

James merely chuckled a bit before nodding his head. Logan scrambled for a piece of paper and wrote his number on it before shoving it towards James.

_Great._ Logan thought, _Now I'll be waiting on a text or call from James all night._

Before walking away James intentionally flashed one of his famous grins in Logan's direction which didn't go unnoticed by the smaller boy. He shuddered in his seat, trying to keep his composure.

Logan had been right about not being able to focus on anything all night. It took him twice as long to finish his homework He lay on his bed and just stared at the ceiling, he decided he had waited long enough at midnight and rolled over and put his phone on silent. He got under his covers and rolled onto his side.

_So much for James texting or calling me, I guess I'm just a sucker when it comes to friendship._

A few minutes after Logan dozed off his phone lit up. 1 New Message flashed on the screen, the number was unknown...

The next morning Logan awoke instantly remembering he hadn't received anything from James the night before.

He glanced over at his phone nervously, _maybe he forgot...,_ Logan shifted to stand up from his bed, _or maybe he knows_. Logan looked at his phone disgusted with himself, but something, something inside of him to check his phone for messages anyways. Logan picked up the phone slowly, his hands beginning to shake. He flipped open the screen and saw he had a new message, the number was one he had never seen before. His heart skipped a beat as he began reading,

Hey Logan, this is James. Sorry I waited until so late, if you get this please text me back.

Logan's mind began to go crazy. James had actually texted him, and said something...nice. He wished he had stayed up a bit longer, maybe he could have talked to James for hours, they could have been the last person they talked to before sleep overtook them.

For once Logan was excited to go to school. He wanted to apologize face to face with James and explain what had happened. He almost had a friend and he honestly liked the feeling.


	3. Don't Hold Back

"Hey Logan." James said as he approached the smaller boy's desk.

"Hey James," Logan soon realized he had a pang of new found confidence so he continued eagerly, "Look man, I'm sorry for last night. I fell asleep before you texted me." He shifted his feet and glanced down at the ground.

"Logan it's okay. I shouldn't have waited so long. I was just nervous bout what you were going to say and-"

"Wait," Logan cut James off without meaning to, "You were nervous about texting me?" Logan needed to reassure himself that he couldn't have possibly heard that, he had to be wrong. James wasn't nervous about anything, not basketball, not girls, so why would he all of a sudden be nervous now?

"Well yeah, I just didn't want to say anything that would upset you. I know you don't talk to many people and I didn't know if you would get offended by anything in particular. Sorry again, this morning I woke up and realized that I was being stupid and over thinking everything." James shuffled his feet and decided that this was the perfect time to admire the nice classroom wall behind Logan so he wouldn't have to look into his eyes.

Logan wanted to kiss James right then. Someone not only wanted to talk to him but they wanted to be _nice_ to him. He gave the much taller boy a weak smile, it was all he could muster at this moment, and he was still in shock. Well that and he didn't want to appear too eager.

"So," James started to talk again, becoming more comfortable with the situation, "We could go to McDonald's after school, grab something to eat." James stopped, and it became apparent he was debating something in his head. "Maybe afterwards...if you want, I would love to have some help with Algebra, I've been kind of lost here lately and maybe if we worked together I'd be able to understand it more." James took this moment to give Logan a faint smile, but Logan didn't even notice.

He looked down in concentration before looking back up at James with a huge smile on his face, "McDonald's? Really James."

James's face instantly turned red, "I mean, I didn't know what kind of food you were into and that was all I could think of in the moment and-"

"James, I was just kidding, don't ever apologize for suggesting a place with a dollar menu." Both of the boys chuckled and by this time the bell was ringing and class was about to begin. James gave Logan a quick 'See you later' type nod of the head before he took his seat towards the back of the room. Logan could have sworn he felt the heat of James's eyes on the back of his neck the rest of class, but he didn't want to turn around and see.

* * *

><p>School went by slowly for Logan, he was both thoroughly excited and terrified for his 'friendly encounter' with James later. Finally the last bell rang, releasing students from their prison for the afternoon, normally Logan would leave as fast as possible before he had the chance to break down in tears in front of everyone, but today was different. He had to wait on James once he reached the parking lot, he didn't know if they were going to meet at the McDonald's or if maybe, just maybe they would ride together. After waiting for what seemed like ten minutes (when in reality it had only been two) Logan decided to send James a quick text asking where he was.<p>

_**Hey James, are we meeting in the parking lot or at the McDonald's down the street?**_

Logan quickly read over the text, hoping he didn't sound desperate and sent it before he could change his mind. He began to shit his weight from foot to foot while he waited on James to reply.

_Why is he taking so long? Maybe I shouldn't have sent him a text._

All of a sudden someone put their hands over Logan's eyes and before he had a chance to react he heard the one voice that calmed him.

"Hey Logan, guess who?"

"Well let's see I'm assuming this isn't a girl, because if it was she'd have a deep voice. I'm also just going to go out on a limb here and say that this isn't anyone remotely high on the social ladder because they don't talk to me. Well except for James, and since he's the only person that does talk to me, I'm going to say this must be James. Hey James." James moved his hands away and Logan turned to face him.

_Ugh we're so close. I'm uncomfortably close to the only person that makes my heart beat this loud. I hope he can't hear it._

"Hey Logan, sorry I didn't text back I just read the message when I was two feet away from you, I figured this would be a better after school greeting. I was thinking we could ride together if you don't mind. Then after we grab food we can come back by here so you can get your car and we can go to my house and get that work done."

"Yeah that's fine, sounds like a plan to me." Both boys suddenly heard James's name being called from across the parking lot, they turned to find two of James's friends making their way towards the boys. It was Kendall and Carlos, James's best friends since middle school. Logan sucked in a breath, he didn't want them to say anything rude to him, not that they normally did, generally a friend of James was a friend of everyone. They focused their attention on James giving him a quick hello before turning to face Logan and giving him a hello as well. Logan let out a quick sigh of relief. They boys chatted a bit about their next game on Friday before they walked off to their own cars, leaving James with Logan once again.

Logan climbed into the passenger seat of James's car. The ride was silent and the music was blaring, Logan relaxed into the seat and closed his eyes for a second, letting the music hit him.

_All I ever think about is you__  
><em>_You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized__  
><em>_And I just got to know_

_Do you ever think when you're all alone__  
><em>_All that we can be, where this thing can go?__  
><em>_Am I crazy or falling in love?__  
><em>_Is it really just another crush?_

_Do you catch a breath when I look at you?__  
><em>_Are you holding back like the way I do?_

The car started coming to a slow stop and Logan opened his eyes. James was staring at him and smiling, "We're here." James said softly and he began to climb out of the car. Logan undid his seatbelt and opened the door.

_This should be interesting..._


	4. Gone

James's Pov:

As we walked into the McDonald's I could tell Logan was nervous about something but I wasn't really sure. Maybe it was all the stares we were getting from the people around us. I knew he wasn't used to all the attention, however I was. I walked right up to the counter and despite the glare the woman behind the registered was sending my way I ordered my usual and asked Logan what he wanted. I paid for the both of us (despite slight protest from Logan who soon realized he wasn't going to win). We took our food to go, I figured it was best for the small boy, he really looked slightly panicked.

As we drove back to the school so he could retrieve his car, his color slightly returned.

_Is it me? Do I make him nervous? Why would I make him nervous though?...Maybe it's my driving. I do drive a bit fast. _

I sighed as Logan climbed into his driver's seat and started up his car. I couldn't help but watch him in my rearview mirror as we drove back to my house.

_He looks so cute when he's driving. _I smiled at that thought._ Wait? Is he dancing? _I started to chuckle as I pulled into the driveway. I let him pull in next to me before climbing out of my car and walking towards the door. Soon I could hear Logan right behind me and I had to resist the urge to turn around and just kiss him.

After getting settled with all of our food and books on the floor in my bedroom, we began our work with the Algebra. Logan looked so at peace with his work and he actually made a lot of sense. I was understanding material that never made sense to me. Every time I would get something correct Logan would give me the biggest smile and a high five. I couldn't help but get those momentary butterflies in my stomach every time our hands touched; I just wished it didn't have to happen so fast. I just wanted to grab his hand and hold it, well I wanted more than that but I was trying to take baby steps.

After we got done with the homework, Logan and I strolled down to my kitchen and got a few snacks, we sat around in my living room watching TV and I couldn't help but glance at his face whenever something dramatic happened. Whether his mouth curved up to let on a huge smile or opened to let out a fit of giggles, or even when his face scrunched together and he frowned he was always beautiful.

Why couldn't the kids at school see that? I knew they didn't like him, but they honestly had no reason not to. Part of me believed it was jealousy, he was so intelligent and he wasn't boastful about it but it always showed in class. It was just something he couldn't hide. Like SpongeBob mentions to his best friend Patrick in one episode, "His genius was showing." It was always showing. It gave him a certain glow, but the glow only increased when you noticed that he was truly charming, a little shy, and just flat out gorgeous.

Logan looked over at me and gave me a warm smile before telling me he should probably head home. I helped him repack his backpack before walking him to the door, he was about to walk out and I knew I had to do something, anything to let him know how I felt about him,

"Logan?"

He turned back around, we were chest to chest. I leaned down and I kissed him, it was short but probably the most emotional kiss I've ever given to anyone. Today was perfect for me and I wanted to end it perfectly as well. However, when I backed away his eyes were wide with fear and panic, he just mumbled "I'll see you later," before scurrying back to his car and driving like a mad man down the street.

I stood there breathless; I couldn't believe what just happened. Before the first tear fell down my cheek I ran back inside and straight up to my room. I slammed the door and just fell to the ground. How could I be so stupid? I turned on the radio, hoping to get some relief from Logan but sure enough it was the Backstreet Boys,

_Everything I do is for you__  
><em>_So what is it that you can't see__  
><em>_Sometimes I wish I could turn back time,__  
><em>_Impossible as it may seem__  
><em>_But I wish I could so bad, baby__  
><em>_You better quit playin' games with my heart_

I scrambled to turn the radio off, any song but that, well any song but one that described how I was feeling. I wanted to get away from it all so I did the only thing I could, I pulled out my iPod, turned it all the way up, crawled into bed, and I cried. I cried until my mom came in and asked why I was in bed so early, I rolled over and told her it was nothing, that I was just a little upset about something.

She came over and sat on the edge of my bed. "Honey you can talk to me."

"Mom it's nothing." I fought back the tears and continued, "It's just a boy."

"A boy?" Her back straightened and she turned to face the wall.

_Shit, I forgot I never told her I liked boys._

"Um, yeah. Sorry. I should have told you sooner about...well...this."

She just stood up and went towards the door, "I'll be downstairs if you need anything honey." With that she was gone, and it reminded me so much of the way that Logan had left me. I looked across my room and saw my math sitting out, it was mocking me, mocking everything I had experienced today. At the sight, I remembered I had to go to school tomorrow, I would be faced with Logan. I just didn't know how well that was going to go.

Part of me was worried about my status with him but the other half was worried about my reputation at school. If my friends found out, if the team found out, it could ruin my last few months of high school. I knew what the guys thought of the gays at our school, and I shuddered at the thought.

* * *

><p><em>I was walking towards the school building and it looked eerie. Something was telling me to just turn back and run back home, but I had to know what was inside. I walked in and the halls were empty, I kept walking until I found the gym. As I walked in a spotlight was put on me and I saw the eyes of all my peers from the bleachers. I began to shake uncontrollably as I heard Logan's voice "Fag." I saw his body appear from the shadows and he was glaring at me.<em>

"_Wha-What?" I barely got the word out, and my violent shakes sent me flying to the ground. _

"_You tried to kiss me you're nothing but a fag. I don't want you James Diamond." _

_Soon Kendall and Carlos were by Logan's side, they added glares my way. The shakes didn't stop, I just laid back and continued to shake. _

I woke up...shaking and in a cold sweat.

_It was only a dream_, I looked over at my clock and it read 3:23, _go back to sleep_.

I didn't though. I was too afraid to face the Logan in my dreams...

I was walking through the two big doors that led into the front hallway, I was nervous. My morning had been a drag as I was constantly faced with thoughts of Logan and my peers. Just thinking about the dream I had the previous night sent a chill down my spine.

"Fag." I tuned towards the sound of the voice, it was some kid of the JV football team. He was glaring at me, but I just pretended like I didn't know what he was talking about and I kept walking. The glares only increased as I walked down the hallway and everything I feared was coming true.

I walked up to Kendall and Carlos at our usual spot but they just gave me a weird look before Kendall finally just said, "We'll see you later James." They walked away and started whispering, Carlos looked back towards me, his big brown eyes watering, before turning away from me. They were gone. I was alone now. Logan must have told someone. I kept my head down and went through my normal day. I didn't talk to anyone and no one talked to me, but I sure did hear people talk_ about_ me.

* * *

><p>I walked into my Algebra class, by now I was used to the routine, get to class as quickly as possible, talk to no one. This one was different though, I had to look up at Logan as I walked past his desk, I had to see what his eyes said.<p>

It was like he knew I was coming, and instead of the vengeful glare I was anticipating his eyes looked puffy, like he had been crying and he mouthed, "I'm sorry," before looking down again. I just took my seat and debated my next move.

* * *

><p>School finally let out, and I ran to my car, I had figured out what I was going to do and I knew it would be hard to accomplish at first but I would make it work, I had to.<p>

I drove how as quickly as I could, ran up to my room and threw a duffle bag onto my bed, I packed as many clothes as I could into the bag before adding my toothbrush and other toiletries. I took one last look at my room and made my way to the kitchen, I took out two sheets of paper, I wrote two letters, one for my parents, one for Logan.

_**Mom and Dad, **_

_**Don't worry, I know I've let you guys down. When I figure out where I'm going exactly I'll let you know. Until then, I still love you guys, and I hope you still love me.**_

_**Love, James**_

_**P.S. Dad if you still don't know what's going on, ask mom.**_

I sucked in a breath, the other letter was much harder to write, it was addressed to Logan.

_**Logan,**_

_**I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry I messed everything up. I'm leaving for you. Hopefully now we can both figure out who we are and what we want. With the way you left the other day I know you don't want me, or not the way I want you. I feel something when I'm with you. I just don't think you feel the same. **_

_**Take Care.**_

_**James**_

I put both letters in envelops, I left the one for my parents on the counter and drove the other to Logan's house. (I had gotten the address from the school's student book). I left it on the mat located by the front door. I got back in my car and sighed heavily, "Goodbye, Logan."

With that I was off, gone, and I didn't have a destination in mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you think? ((:<strong>


	5. Regrets

Logan's POV:

It had been exactly two weeks, fourteen hours and twenty minutes since I found the note James left on my porch. No one knew where he was and it terrified me. I thought back to that day, the day that should have gone so much differently than it did.

_Everything had been perfect, James and I had made significant progress with his math abilities and we had just hung out together, we were basically acting like best friends. All the contact left me wanting more, and my wish was granted, James kissed me before I left. All the butterflies in my stomach raged into a hurricane/tornado mix and I couldn't have felt better. However, I was embarrassed; I thought he was just doing it to be nice, I left only saying a few words, not knowing it would be one of the biggest regrets of my life. _

_The next day at school was terrible; I heard that James was getting called all sorts of names like "fag" and "queer." Someone must have seen us, I didn't tell a soul. Not because I wasn't excited about the whole event, but because I had no one to tell. The students didn't end their hate with James, they also spat their insults at me. This was the first time all week I felt like the old Logan, the one who would run home and cry to himself, but I fought it back._

_I practically ran to Algebra and I was nervous, I knew James would be walking in at any second, I didn't want to face him, I didn't want him to think this was all my fault. However, I knew when he walked in, I could tell because to got quiet and then everyone began to whisper. I looked up at him, he looked heartbroken. All I could muster was a "I'm sorry," before I ducked my head back down. The tears continued to pile up in my eyes but I kept them back, at least until class was out. I ran straight to the bathroom and skipped my next class, I cried the entire time. I didn't want James to hate me. I didn't want James to get hate because of me. I just wanted us to be able to have the perfect relationship, the perfect life together. _

_I was upstairs trying to finish the rest of my homework when I heard a soft knock on my door about 6:30. My dad came in with a letter in his hand. I didn't know who it was from and neither did he, all he knew was that the person had left it on the porch for me. He sat on my bed while I stood in front of him opening the letter. I skimmed its contents and I had to hold in my breath, I reread and reread hoping the words on the page were jumbled, that the message I was reading couldn't be real. Maybe it was a joke? Maybe he would come into my room tonight, lie on my bed and give me a full, wholehearted James chuckle. _

_All I could think about was the words he hate scribbled on that wretched piece of paper, "__**I'm leaving for you,**__" "__**I know you don't want me,**__" "__**I**__** feel something when I'm with you.**__" He liked me too. He felt the same way for me that I felt for him, but I fucked it up. I left when I should have stayed. He thought I didn't like him, and probably went as far as to think I was disgusted by him. This would all be different if it weren't for me. He thought leaving would protect me, but it only made me more vulnerable. _

_The first day at back at school was miserable; I could feel the immense heat from all the students in our grade all over me. This was not the attention I craved for; this was not what I wanted. I didn't speak up in class. I didn't have any reason to. The one person who listened wasn't there anymore. I got back into my usual routine of leaving school as quickly as possible and running straight to my room to cry and do my homework. Life was right where it had always been and I couldn't have been anymore convinced that James and I weren't meant to be together. Fate was not on our side. I tried to accept it, but I just couldn't._

I sighed at the memory and the thoughts I had attached to that memory. I started to get out of car and head into the school building, the looks and stares had lessened, but nothing really changed. I was still at the bottom, and I always would be. My romantic hero had run away at the first sign of trouble and I missed him. I knew it was partially my fault so I didn't blame him. I blamed myself.

As I sunk down into my seat in English I tried to take my mind off of the material, the teacher, and my peers. I wondered what James was doing, where he was, and if he ever thought of me...

James's POV:

I missed Logan. I missed home. I missed my friends, but I couldn't go back, not to that. My mom was obviously disgusted by me and my best friends had left me to stand alone. I had no one to lean on, no one but Logan, but it seemed like even he was gone. I thought of his precious smile, his dimples, the way he cheered me on s we worked through the Algebra together. At this thought I vigorously shook my head, I couldn't think of him like that, it would only make me want to go back. Well more than I already wanted to.

"Diamond! Get out of La-la Land and keep working!"

I sighed as I began to wipe tables down around the old diner I now worked at. Since I was eighteen it was easy for me to get myself a job and a small apartment two hours away from home. Well what used to be home, this was home now. The smell of the aged diner, the truckers and elderly couples coming in and out of the restaurant, the empty one bedroom apartment I went home to, that was all home for me.

An hour later, I walked home from work in the dark. My mind couldn't help but wander back to Logan; I wished I had the guts to call him. I knew that if I did, I'd beg him to come out here with me though, we would both be able to go to Molto Bello Academy, the high school in the town I now lived in. We'd be able to see each other, we'd be able to hold each other, I'd be able to do all those simple things people take for granted when they love someone. Shit, just being able to hear him breath would put my mind to rest.

When I reached my apartment building I took the stairs one at a time, I was feeling a bit down now. I craved the taste of Logan's lips against mine. The way his face turned red whenever he thought he said something stupid, the look in his eyes whenever I caught his gaze for even a second. I had admitted to myself just last night as I stared at the empty seat in my kitchen that I loved him, and I wanted him to fill that seat for the rest of our lives, but he wasn't coming to me. He didn't know where I was and I was too afraid to go and get him myself.

I knew I shouldn't have left. There was the possibility he liked me too, it was small, but it was there. I regretted my actions to an extent, but school here was much more bearable, all the kids my age knew I was gay and they accepted that, no one gave me shit for it. I just couldn't go back to that hell hole, as far as I was concerned, Logan was the only thing keeping me progressing in life. I wanted to be able to give him everything and I needed to get myself together before I could do that.

Logan's POV:

Two girls were chatting loudly as I walked passed them in the hallway, I slowed down as I heard mine and James's names being used repeatedly.

"There he is again, the boy that kissed James. Kendall saw them when he was heading over to James's house for a surprise visit. He said that when he was about to pull into the driveway he noticed Logan walking out of James's house and then he saw them kiss."

"How does everyone know he was telling the truth?" The second girl asked as she glanced towards me, I tried to make it look like I was doing something not suspicious so I could hear the rest of their conversation so I bent down and tied my shoe slowly.

"Well James left didn't he? No one knows where he went but that should be proof enough. If he wasn't guilty of anything he would have stayed and straightened the rumors out. I just can't believe that James Diamond is gay, what a waste."

The second girl began to nod her head in agreement before the two went their own ways. I got up slowly and sighed,

_So it was Kendall? It had been Kendall all along, he was supposed to be James's friend. What did he think he was doing? _

I had something in mind for , and it would rock his world. I smiled as I thought up my devilish plan, I wasn't sure who this new 'me' was but I kinda liked him, he wanted to take no shit and he wanted answers. I entered my next class the new plan still fresh on my mind, I grinned.

_Knight, I hope you're ready for lunch, 'cause Logan's kinda hungry, hungry for humiliation and retaliation that is._

* * *

><p>I think Logan might be becoming a bit of a bad boy ;D<p>

Tell me what you think?((:


	6. Letters of Love

Logan's POV:

I walked into lunch and marched myself right over to the table that held Kendall and his friends. I walked up behind him, grabbed his collar and did my best to yank him up. He turned around surprised and with anger in his eyes, "Mitchell what th-"

I cut him off with a kiss to his lips, I pulled away and leaned towards his ear, "I know it was you that saw me and James, and I also know you're essentially the reason he left. Consider this your warning." I smirked and walked away, out of the lunchroom and to my next class, I sat outside the classroom and my cocky smirk was gone. I felt the hot tears run down my face as I thought of James. I just hoped he was alright. I still blamed myself for everything that had gone wrong, I pulled my legs up to my chest and put my head down on my knees.

I must have dosed off because the next thing I knew someone was tapping me on my shoulder, "Logan wake up." I looked up and scowled, it was Carlos, I went to put my head back down and I heard the Latino boy take a seat next to me on the floor. "He shouldn't have gone." I looked up at Carlos with questioning eyes, _was he talking about James?_ He looked at me and kept going, "He really liked you, well likes you, he calls me periodically. He's afraid to call you though, afraid you don't care for him."

"But-"

"He's wrong, I know that. I try to tell him that. He just won't listen to me." Carlos glanced around, suddenly uncomfortable, "I have his new address, maybe you could write him something? I think it would help calm him down, maybe even bring him home." Carlos looked hopeful and he almost looked like he was begging me. It was good to know James still had one of his two friends on his side.

I smiled at Carlos and he looked relieved. I looked forward towards the opposite wall, "Of course I'd like to write him, I haven't spoken to him in weeks. I miss him." My voice trailed off with that last sentence and I glanced back up at Carlos, he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me.

"This is his address. I have to go Logan, for the obvious reasons of Kendall kicking my ass for associating with you...especially after lunch today." Carlos let out a soft chuckle, "He deserved that for what he did to James's reputation." Carlos began to get up but I grabbed his hand, he turned to face me instantly concerned.

"Thanks Carlos, this uh means a lot to me."

He gave me a weak smile before heading off down the hallway. Fright before he rounded the corner he looked back and told me "Oh and Logan," I looked up expecting something important, "James doesn't know that Kendall was the one who...uh...outted him. Don't mention it please." once he rounded a corner I got up and went to the bathroom to clean my face. After which I pulled out the piece of paper Carlos had just given me and I admired the address for the first time. _Wait, he's only a few hours away? Maybe I could visit, but only if he wants me too. I could make it a weekend thing. _My hopes were suddenly lifted as I shuffled off to my next class. I couldn't wait to get home and start that letter.

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><p><em><strong>Dear James,<strong>_

_**I'm so sorry everything turned out like it did, I don't know what happened that day when I was leaving your house. I wanted that kiss as much as you did, but it had been my first. I freaked out a little. Honestly, you surprised me, I had no idea that you felt the same. I was going to tell you how I felt the next day, just spit it out, but you know how the next day went...I didn't tell anyone though! I have no one to tell.**_

_**It's been lonely again since you've been gone. I don't have anyone to keep me company, well no one but my dad anyways. I miss you. I miss seeing you happy and laughing. I hope you're doing okay. Please write back, I'd love to hear from you. **_

_**Logan.**_

_**P.S. Don't be upset with Carlos because he gave me your address, I'm really glad he did.**_

I reread the letter over and over again. I hoped James would understand that I did feel the same way for him, hopefully he'd come to his senses and come back, or maybe just maybe I could go out there with him. My dad had wanted to leave this house behind for years, too many memories attached, but I was the reason he stayed here. He wanted me to finish school first before he moved, but if I moved in with James it would allow my dad to go wherever he wanted. I let my thoughts wander as I tried to accomplish all my homework.

Once I was done I ran downstairs, rushed pass my dad telling him I had to mail something, and went straight out to my car. I dove to the post office and got one of those fancy envelopes that allow for express delivery. I paid the person at the counter and I left, it was all up to James now, hopefully he'd get the letter tomorrow and feel the need to write back.

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><p>James's POV:<p>

I had just got home from school and I was about to go get ready for work. I went to check my mailbox even though the only mail I seemed to get these days was from people who wanted my hard earned money. When I opened the old mail box an envelope fell out, it wasn't from a bill collector or some scam office, the return address had Logan's address on it. I scrambled up to my apartment, opening the letter as I ran up the steps.

I read his words carefully and I laughed, Carlos would think that I would be upset with him for giving Logan my address, but I wasn't. How could I be? Shit, I wish he had done it sooner.

I looked at the clock and it seemed as though I had enough time to write a quick reply to Logan. So I sat down on the floor, got a piece of paper and a pen and I began to try and explain myself.

_**Logan, **_

_**Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault. I know you didn't tell, I wouldn't expect you too. I have a hunch that someone must have seen it, how could I have been so stupid? A lot of my friends live in the houses round me and I just lost my senses for a moment. I didn't want you to feel lonely when I left, it was all sort of spur of the moment. My intentions were everything but negative, I thought if I left you would be able to find peace, find out what you wanted. I never thought I could be that thing you wanted, the thing you craved, and I honestly don't know if that's what you want. **_

_**I guess I should tell you about where I am though; I'm just going to assume Carlos didn't have time to tell you much. I'm still going to school, and thanks to your help math has been getting easier for me. I'm not always completely lost in class. I also got an after school job, I hate it but it helps me pay the bills around here. Speaking of 'here' I got myself a small apartment, one bedroom and one bath. It works for me though, it's quiet around here and I like it.**_

_**Speaking of things I like, this might be the cheesiest way to do this (with it being a letter and all), I like you Logan, I miss you too. There isn't a day that I don't want to drive up there to get you and bring you down here. I doubt you'd want to do that though, leave your dad behind and everything. There are a lot of things I'm confused about, but the knowing the way I feel about you isn't one of them. **_

_**James**_

_**P.S. Sorry if you can't read this, I'm rushing so I can put it in the mail box and get to work. Please write me back. **_

I huffed as I looked around for an envelope. I finally found one and hurried to place the letter inside of it. I sealed it and labeled the envelope before taking it down to the buildings little post office; I dropped it in the box and left for work. I was smiling from ear to ear, and even dealing with my coworkers wouldn't bring me down today.

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><p>Logan's POV:<p>

"Mitchell!"

_Here we go again._

I turned round to face a very, very red faced Kendall and a very sympathetic looking Carlos.

"Knight, how great it is to see you too, well you know after last night and everything." I winked at Kendall and I could have sworn a vein in his neck popped, whatever it was he was about to go on about must have been important.

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><p><strong>Hey guys! So I'm going to <span>try<span> and update this one again today, so we'll see how that goes. I hope you enjoyed the chapter though, I used it as more of a filler than anything. I thought giving James and Logan some form of communication was good though 3. Tell me what you think((: **


	7. Reunited at Last

**Here it is, the second to last chapter. :'D It's kinda short, but it was just one quick scene. So I hope you enjoy it! **

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><p>Logan's POV:<p>

*SLAM*

I hit the lockers with a thud. Kendall was in my face and he looked unusually unhappy. "Yesterday. Was. Not. Funny." He sneered at me.

"Oh really? Cuz you seem to have been amused when you were mistreating your best friend? In my opinion that. Was. Not. Funny." I was surprised at how menacing my tone got, but I was not about to let him get away with what he had done to James.

Shocked at what I had said he put me down but continued his glare. "What the fuck do you know about that? You don't have any friends, how would you know how everyone found out about James?"

"Just because I don't have friends doesn't mean I don't have ears you prick. In case you haven't noticed everyone knows how you outted your friend, I used to ask myself why you did it, but I think I understand now."

He laughed, "and what exactly do you understand Logan?"

"I know you were jealous of the attention James got, he's better looking than you, smarter than you, nicer than you, everyone liked him more and you hated it. Seeing him kiss me gave you a way to take away his spotlight and put it on yourself. 'Kendall Knight, school hero for letting everyone know the school's biggest jock was homosexual.' You're a terrible person you know that Kendall, actually I know that you know that, you're upset with who you are. You don't like what you see when you look in the mirror. You hated the fact that someone like James could look in the mirror and be happy with the reflection when you couldn't be."

With that I took a breath and looked at Kendall, remember how red is face was before? Well if it was possible he looked redder and he looked ready to kick my ass so hard but at that moment gasps could be heard throughout the entire hallway. I tried to look at what was going on but I couldn't see a thing and Kendall wasn't about to lighten his grip.

"You shut up right now Mitchell or I swear I'll bea-"

"Knight, I think we need to talk."

That voice...could it be?

James's POV:

I had stayed up all night with thoughts of Logan. What if he didn't write back, what if he didn't really like me. I knew I was putting myself down and I shouldn't be. Carlos told me countless times that he was 110% sure that Logan felt the same about me, but it didn't change the fact that I was nervous. I decided to skip the next day of school and call in to work sick. I had something I needed to take care of.

I walked into the place where I was once considered the highest on the social ladder and instantly I heard the gasps. I didn't speak to anyone and I just started walking. I walked and walked until I found what seemed to be Kendall and Carlos, it looked like Kendall was giving someone trouble and right when I opened my mouth to speak I heard Logan.

My blood instantly began to boil and I thought how dare he touch my Logan?

"Knight, I think we need to talk." The words rolled off my tongue smoothly but it didn't change the fact that they were full of venom and anger.

Kendall turned slowly and I saw Logan's head pop out from behind him. "J-James?" Kendall stammered, obviously surprised, I glanced at Carlos and he was smiling. "What are you doing here?"

"Well Kendall I came back to kidnap the love of my life and take him back to my new place. Then I found you, but luckily you had him with you the whole time." I glared at Kendall and he looked like he was about to take off running.

"James you know I didn't mean to tell everyone about you and Logan right? It just kinda happened."

My face got distorted as I absorbed what Kendall just said, _he had been the one to tell everyone?_ _He knew?_ I glanced at Carlos and he was looking at Kendall worried but when he turned back his eyes were pleading at me to not kick Kendall's ass, _so Carlos knew Kendall told everyone. _I looked at Logan and even he didn't look surprised, so he knew too. Maybe these weren't such good friends after all. I looked back up at Kendall and my anger reappeared quickly. "Kendall, I'm feeling nice right now. Get to class. Mitchell. Garcia. Stay." Kendall looked back and forth between the two boys at his side before taking off down the hallway.

"Everyone go to class!" I yelled and the students disappeared quickly. I walked towards Logan and Carlos and they both looked kind of nervous now. "You both knew."

"James I-"

"I told him not to tell you James. I knew you'd come back to kick Kendall's ass, and I knew that would do nothing but put you in a worse situation." Carlos began to ramble on and on about how it was best I didn't know at the time when I left, "He-he told me I couldn't be friends with you anymore, that being friends with you would ruin me as well. I didn't let him know I kept in contact with you."

"Carlos" I exhaled deeply, "it's okay. Logan, I still love you. I would never let Kendall have that much control over my feelings towards someone."

"James you-you love me?" Logan looked at me, unsure of what I had said.

"Well Logan," I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked at the ground, suddenly uncomfortable, "yeah I do."

I instantly felt Logan's arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. "I love you too James. This is way overdue,"

"What are y-"

He leaned down and kissed me, it was long and passionate and for a moment I forgot Carlos was in the hallway with us. I moaned a little bit only to hear Carlos start chuckling. I put Logan down but took his hand, "Carlos, I think it's time for you to go to class too."

He gave me a smirk before saying, "It was good to see you James don't become a stranger," before turning around and heading down the hall. I turned to face Logan and he was a deep shade of red.

"Uh-Logan?"

"I'm just a bit embarrassed, I kinda forgot Carlos was there and-"

I cut him off with another kiss, this one shorter than the last, "Logan? Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

He smiled and buried his face into my chest, "Forever and Always James."

It was at this moment that I realized Logan Mitchell was something I not only _could_ have, but that he was something I _did_ have and something I _hoped_ to always have.

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><p><strong>Whoop! James came back for Logan!<strong>

**The next chapter will be the last. It'll be more of an epilogue than anything! ((:**

**Review please! :D**


	8. Peace

**Welp, you made it to the last chapter of my first Kames, thanks so much for reading it! I hope this doesn't dissapoint.**

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><p>Logan's POV:<p>

It was two years later in mine and James's backyard. We had just bought our first house together and we were throwing a party to show it off to our closest family and friends. It was late July and my dad was grilling with James's dad. They were concentrated on the meat they had just placed on the grill, anticipating the perfect time to flip it. I glanced over towards James's mom who was talking to Carlos's parents and smiled, they were all laughing at something and it made me glad to see everyone having a good time.

Just as I began to wonder where James was I felt to big arms around my waist as my feet lifted off the ground. I inhaled deeply and the smell of the familiar cologne comforted me. Once my feet were back on the ground and turned to face my boyfriend. We were chest to chest and I could feel his breathing become rapid. He leaned down and our lips met, it was only a short kiss but they always meant the world to me.

If anyone had told me two years ago that I would be here in my backyard, smiling at my boyfriend (who was none other than James Diamond), with a genuine smile on my face I would have told them they were crazy. Carlos walked over to us with his plate full of food and two sodas, I giggled lightly before we sat on the grass. While Carlos was stuffing his face James watched him with an open mouth. I still don't think any of us were used to the appetite of the smaller boy.

You might ask what happened to Kendall; well to be honest I have no idea. After James came to my rescue I hadn't hesitated moving in with him. Neither one of us had seen Kendall since that day. Carlos told us that he had gotten a scholarship to some school in a different state. We didn't worry much about him though, we had no reason to. We had each other and that was all we needed.

As night fell and everyone said their goodbyes James brought something out of the house. He had a blanket in his arms He laid it out on the ground and laid down before he ushered me to come lay down in his arms so we could just admire the sky. There wasn't any noise but the sound of James breathing and the occasionally passing car. I didn't believe there could be anything more perfect than this moment.

"Logan?"

I turned my head so I could look up at James, "Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too James."

"I'll love you forever Logan."

"James, I'll love you longer than forever."

With that the silence over took us again and we fell asleep under the stars.

For once, I got something I wanted, something I loved, and that thing was James Diamond. He went from something I knew I couldn't have to something I could have and did have. He was always there for me, which was more than I could say about anyone else in my life other than my dad. He changed my life, and I knew that in some strange way I had changed his too.

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><p><strong>Well there it is my first ending! I hope you enjoyed the story! I've begun working on another story and here's a preview of it, tell me if you like it!((:<strong>

_"No James, I can't do it anymore."_

_"Scarlett I'm so-" *click*_

_Who knew such a little *click* could hurt so much. I had been through so much with Scarlett and we had always worked through it. We had put so many years into one another and I couldn't believe this was really it. I knew this was entirely my fault, I wasn't there for her like I should have been and now it was over, we were over. I walked back into my bedroom and I was greeted by a girl I had met at the party. I sighed as I told her she needed to go, it wasn't a good time._

_As I shut the door behind her I called Logan, he always knew what to do. After I explained what happened Logan told me something I would never forget, it broke my heart all over again, "James, you fucked up dude. It's time to man up and deal with the consequences. Now get some sleep you know we have a concert tomorrow."_


End file.
